Paying Tribute to a Loved One: Long-term Ways of Honouring the Deceased

Saying goodbye to a loved one may feel like something you would just do once, commonly at a funeral or celebration of their life. Whilst this is the perfect opportunity for you to say your final goodbyes, it does not mean that you should stop thinking about them. If anything, this can make it more difficult to process your loss and more challenging to cope with grief. Instead, you may find it more beneficial to find a long-term way to pay tribute to your loved one and there are near infinite ways of doing so.

Why should you continue to pay tribute to a loved one after their death?

Grief is often associated with occurring in the immediate aftermath of a bereavement. However, it can have a lasting impact that you may not have expected. Keeping the memory and legacy of your loved ones going after they have died can be a healthy outlet for grief, as it maintains a personal connection to them after they have passed. It can also create bonds amongst others, such as an old group of friends or family members, and bring people together or help them navigate their grief as well as your own.

In addition to the personal benefits, it provides an opportunity to continue the legacy of the deceased. This may be through something physical to commemorate their presence in a specific area or commitment to particular places, or by following on their own personal beliefs to share the positive impact they had when they were alive.

How to pay tribute to the deceased:

We have picked out just some of the ways in which you could honour your loved one, but there is no correct way to do so and we encourage you to celebrate their individuality by paying tribute in your own unique way.

Personal tributes:

• Create a photo album or scrapbook - having a physical album is a great memento, but in the age of smartphones it can be easier and just as beneficial to create a digital album
• Build a memory box or jar - collect some small personal items from the deceased or that you associate strongly with them
• Make something to remember them by - create something through arts and crafts or take up one of their hobbies or interests
• Food - visit one of their favourite restaurants, cook their favourite dish or write down their recipes into a collection
• Visit special places - this could include places where you shared experiences, somewhere that you had dreamed to go together, or simply somewhere that why enjoyed spending their own time
• Listen to their favourite songs - this can help to remember special moments, and is a simple way to remember the deceased
• Have one of their belongings repaired - bringing a cherished item back to life can make you feel as if you have done something for them, and maintaining it will help to keep a piece of them with you

Gestures and group tributes:

• Keep traditions going - this will help to build and maintain group bonds that were started when they were alive
• Create a physical memorial - this could be done in lots of ways, such as planting a tree, putting a memorial bench in their favourite place, or by lighting a candle in their honour during special moments like birthdays or anniversaries
• Donations and acts of kindness - donate to a charity for a relevant cause or to a cause they supported during their lifetime
• Organise gatherings and tributes - keeping in touch with others and sharing stories about the deceased can be therapeutic for a whole group

These are just some ways in which you can pay tribute to a loved one, but grief is a personal journey and finding the best way to cope with bereavement is a process that takes time and patience. Choosing which tribute is most suitable is going to be a combination of your personal relationship with the deceased and their interests and characteristics when they were alive.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, we have also created a list of self-care tips, as well as the best ways to support someone else who has suffered loss.