How Music Can Help You Cope with Grief
Grief is a deeply personal journey that everyone will experience in different ways. This, in turn, makes it a unique challenge as it can be difficult to express to others what you are feeling, or even understand it yourself. This is why it is important to find some sort of strategy to cope with grief, but one that is personal for you, as what worked for someone else might not have the same effect for you. Something that you can utilise as a powerful, yet accessible tool to help you when coming to terms with loss is music.
Music Provides Something More Than Words
Whether we realise it or not, listening to music makes us feel a certain way - there is a reason why movies and TV shows will painstakingly curate a soundtrack, as they try to create a particular atmosphere or evoke a specific emotion amongst the audience. When going through an emotional time, such as grieving, you will likely find that certain songs bring out a stronger response in you. It may be a cherished song that reminds you of your loved one, or something you have newly discovered that echoes your current emotions. Whatever the genre, music can provide a comfort or understanding that is difficult to find elsewhere, making it one of the best ways to cope with a bereavement.
How Music Helps Us Process Loss
- Release Emotions: Listening to songs that mirror your current feelings can help you to process and release them in a safe, healthy way. Studies have shown that listening to sad songs, in particular, can help people come to terms with their loss.
- Trigger Positive Memories: Certain songs can instantly transport us back to another moment in time. This could be because you shared a special memory with the deceased, or maybe you both enjoyed the song or artist itself. These musical memories can help you to continue to feel connected to someone you have lost, and act as a tribute and way to remember them.
- Find Connection and Support: Singing together at a funeral or memorial service, or sharing a playlist with family and friends, can provide a feeling of togetherness and mutual support during difficult moments. You may also feel support and connection from the lyrics of a song, as they may reflect how you feel, even if you are struggling to understand this yourself or express this to others.
- Provide Comfort and Hope: Uplifting or calming songs can ease anxiety, offer moments of respite, and create a boost of positivity, even if you are struggling to cope with a bereavement.
Simple Ways to Use Music as Part of Your Grief Coping Strategy
- Create a playlist of songs that remind you of the deceased, or that reflect your current emotions.
- Listen to the right music at the right time - embracing your feelings and listening to songs that represent them will help you process them in a healthy way. Similarly, some upbeat music can help to improve your mood even if just for a moment.
- Share meaningful songs with friends or family, or play them during remembrance gatherings.
- Play music if you are struggling, either as a way of dealing with any strong feelings you may be experiencing, or a way to help make it easier to get through everyday tasks whilst grieving.
Grief does not have a timetable, and sadly there is no quick fix. The personal nature of music, and the availability and accessibility of it nowadays, means that it is easy to find a soundtrack that can help you deal with anything that you might be going through. If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with grief, we encourage you to let music be part of your healing process.
If you are planning a funeral or ceremony, you may have some songs in mind that can help you to say goodbye to your loved one in the perfect way. There are no wrong answers, so pick songs that are personal and specific for your situation, but if you need some advice then your Funeral Director will be open to hear any requests you may have.
